....i've had a breakthrough...well 2 really!.....

Part of my anxiety is that I tend to do anything and everything to avoid situations, people, and definitly confrontation.  Well this past week I have had not only 1 but 2 breakthroughs.

First I was able to call our landlord and find out some information.  Easy right? Yeah it is....for most people it is quite simple. But for someone with extreme anxiety it's a nightmare.  But I did it...it was not a pleasant call and I knew it wouldn't be, but I did it...and the best part is I did it without thinking about it.  I didn't have to plan the conversation, and possible answers or questions.  I just did it.  I was spontaneous and I did it.

Second breakthough is quite abit more exciting.  We are going to be moving, so we went to the store to get moving boxes.  Well going to the store with Dan has...90% of the time....been fairly simple.  As long as Dan is with me i'm ok.  He left me alone. And had be checkout with some of the things we had wanted....by myself! Again something that some people do weekly or even daily...and really don't think twice about doing it.  For me that was a huge accomplishment. 

For the first time in over a year I can say I'm proud of myself.  I'm proud that I was able to do these things.  And while I still have anxiety and always will on some level, I know now that it is getting better.  That I am conquering these fears and stepping on them one at a time.

Now for the bigger question....can I do them again? I'm sure I could and i'm sure I will someday. 
Don't misunderstand.....the anxiety is still there.  And it's huge. it's like a giant monster that is attatched to me.  But this is progress...these things made me feel good about myself again. I'm getting back to my old self, and I have to admit....i've really missed her!

JM