I had a fairly "normal" family growing up....well in the sense that I had 2 grandmas and 2 grandpas. By the time I was 15 however, that had dwindled down to 1. My Grandma Smith (my moms mom) was the only grandparent I had from 15 years old on. She was there when my dad died, helping my mom and I, she watched me go to my prom, and graduate high school. She watched as I got married and divorced....and get married again. She supported me and watched me grow into a woman, make mistakes and grow from them.
As I grew older I grew closer to my grandma. She was awesome. Always joking around and she had the best laugh. We would watch the Bachelor every monday night and even though she lived 60 minutes away, she would call me when it was done and we would talk about the show. We would talk for hours laughing and joking. She would call the girls "hussies" and I would laugh.
I remember the stories she would tell of my mom and my uncle when they were growing up. When we went to visit her we would always go for a drive and go past all her old "stomping grounds" and she would tell us all her memories.
Christmas time was always a special time for us. She would come down and celebrate with us..staying for a few days. It was always a blast. We would have rye and cokes and play cards for hours and hours. It was the best times and I truly cherish those memories. She loved playing cards. And crafts..well she crochet'd all the time....tried to teach me how to knit...but that just turned into a comedy skit!
Her baking was what inspired me to learn. She would make the most amazing apple pies. And shortbread cookies...well don't' even get me started! To this day I still can't make them just as she did. I remember when she tried to teach me how to "crimp" the edge of a pie....it didn't end well!
My grandma was full of life and love. She taught me what love should look like, and it's because of her I was able to fall in love with Dan and be as happy as I am now with him.
In April 2012 we got a call from my Aunt Sandy that grandma was taken to the hospital. My mom and I rushed down to be there for her. We sat by her bedside and held her hand and prayed that she would pull through. On April 13 she went in for surgery, she came out but we were told it wasn't good. Her body was tired it was done. They took her to a room where we could surround her and be with her. I remember the dr wanted to meet with the family so my mom and aunt and uncle all left to talk with him, and left me there. I held her hand and talked to her. Told her I loved her and that grandpa was waiting for her. I did my best to not cry. She looked at me and squeezed my hand.
Everyone came back and shortly after grandma left us. My mom was broken, and I didn't know how to help her. A few days later we had her service and we said goodbye. Life went on as usual.
I struggled to grieve for her. I missed her so much. My mom was worse of course. I tried to be there for her but it wasn't until I lost her that I understood what she was going through.
My grief for my mom has since "over shadowed" my grief for my grandma, but it's still there. Losing so many people in such a short time frame is tough. After my grandma is was my mom, then 6 months later my Aunt Sandy.
It's overwhelming and often confusing. But that's ok. One hour at a time...one day at a time. They are all in my heart and surrounding me. Grief is ok...and it's ok to miss them.
JM
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